Shards of Shattered Memories
by Karin Ochibi-chan
Summary: She couldn't take the guilt over all the things she had done. So, Namine made herself forget. Forget everything but her name. Still, hearts have the tendency to lead us back to our loved ones. An alternate story of Kingdom Hearts II. Hope you enjoy S/N/R


Karin: Hey, here's my first KH story still in the KH universe

**Karin: Hey, here's my first KH story still in the KH universe. It's a "What if" type of story as you can see. I got the idea from watching some videos with Namine in CoM and KHII and it got me wondering: How did Namine really feel when she contributed to all of the tragedies with Sora and Roxas? She was bound to feel guilty and probably wished she didn't even exist. Here's just my theory forming itself into a story for my own cravings. Hope you enjoy!**

**Title: **Shards of Shattered Memories

**Rating: **Teen

**Pairings: **Sora/Namine, Roxas/Namine

**Genres: **General/Adventure/Drama/Angst/Romance/Friendship

**Summary: **She hated herself for what she had done. The pain was too much for her to take. So what if she just forgot? Forgot what she had done to others. But we soon see that even with broken chains, hearts have the tendency to bring us back to loved ones again. Sora/Namine/Roxas. KH universe still.

**Disclaimer: **I don't own Kingdom Hearts. If I did, this story would be how Kingdom Hearts II would've played out.

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**Shards of Shattered Memories**

**Prologue: **

**Guilt**

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She felt herself tremble as she hid in the darkness of the control room under the mansion. She hid precisely where DiZ or Riku couldn't find her. She didn't think she would be composed enough to face them.

Namine felt herself slide down the wall landing on the cold hard floor. Her legs were too wobbly to support themselves. Goosebumps appeared on her arms, but she didn't notice. Her limbs felt completely numb. Her thoughts, however, were screaming.

What had she done? How could she let this happen? How could she just sit back and watch Roxas absorb back into Sora like he was _nothing_? How could she just leave him open to the dogs and not blink an eye?

From the beginning she knew this day would come. That Roxas would become one with Sora. But she didn't even attempt to help him. She only just told him he was never supposed to exist and didn't even blink an eye while doing it! She was horrible!

And then there was Sora. Oh yes, what she did to him would haunt her forever. How she heartlessly took apart each and every one of his memories and placed herself in false ones. She had nearly gotten him killed! And for what? So she wouldn't be lonely?

Sora had lost a year of his life because she messed up his memories. A whole year of slumbering in a pod forgetting her entire existence because of the damage she had done. And then there was Roxas who was blissfully ignorant about his fate until she came along. Yet another thing she greedily stole.

They hated her; she was so sure they hated her. Yes, Sora had forgotten her, but he must've held some hate for her. He was probably too kind to show it, but she knew; she knew that deep down he hated her. Wished she was never brought into this world with her miserable existence.

Roxas hated her too for sure. She cost him what normal life he had. She sat back and allowed him to lose everything dear to him and find out it was all a lie. She didn't even lift a finger to help him as DiZ mercilessly tore him out of his naiveté. She didn't protect him from the fate that befell him.

She guessed it was true; she didn't have a heart.

And yet, as she laid there on the floor, all that consumed her was misery; regret; self-loathing….

…guilt.

She was guilty. Every fiber of her being screamed out at her allowing to her drown in the ghastly sensation. Voices in her head shouted that it was her fault. That everything was her fault. She shakily placed her pale hands on her ears to block out the shouting, but it only become louder.

She was weak, spineless, worthless; she didn't even deserve to breathe! She should suffer for everything she had done. Just crawl in a ditch and die somewhere. Forever burn in the pits of hell for her heartless sins.

Namine let out a small whimper as images of Sora and Roxas glaring hatefully down at her appeared in her mind. They screamed at her; telling her it was her fault that all this happened; that it was her fault that they were like this.

That they hated her so much and wish she'd just die.

"I'm sorry" she choked. "I'm so sorry. Please don't hate me. I really am sorry" she whimpered out.

She was disgusting. A horrible, hideous creature. Why did she have to be so cruel? Why did she doom Sora and Roxas?

Why was it that she only brought sadness to others with her pitiful existence?

If only she could forget. Just forget; let all her problems flow out of her mind. Forget the sins she had done. The people she had hurt. Everything—just let it fly out of her mind and never burden her again.

Namine's cerulean eyes widened as she came to a realization. What if… she could make herself forget? She had power over Sora's memories and those who had bonds with him. True, Sora had forgotten her, but _her_ chains were still connected to him. Maybe…

Namine's body racked with convulsions as she stood. Her tears made her eyesight slightly blurry as she struggled back up onto the mansion's main floor. Her steps were cautious as she traveled up the stairs into the white room where she and Roxas conversed before he was absorbed into Sora.

With a shaking hand, she turned the doorknob and entered to room. Everything seemed like a standstill to her. Still; unchanging.

Her sandaled feet walked over to where her sketchbook laid. Trembling hands reached out to it as if it was her life-line. She gently opened the smooth cover to gaze into its contents.

Over the year, this sketchbook had been her most precious thing. It was the sketchbook from Castle Oblivion. The very same sketchbook that stole Sora's memories and replaced it with her artificial ones.

Usually she would gaze at them fondly and tenderly, but now she didn't even spare it a thought.

She began destroying the pictures. The contents. She erased everything thoroughly making every page a blank piece of paper. She ridded the sketchbook of anything and everything: Sora, Roxas, Riku, DiZ, King Mickey, Castle Oblivion, Organization XIII—everything.

Namine felt her mind becoming empty as she worked. Memories of the past year and before that slowly drifting away. The chains breaking into smell shards that will never once again burden her mind. She was forgetting everything. She did not want to remember the sins she had done and the people she brought misery. Just forget. Let everything fly away.

She never wanted to remember these thoughts. She never wanted to remember Sora's smile or Roxas's sincerity. She never wanted to remember how heartbroken she was when she took apart herself in Sora's memory. She never wanted to remember damning Roxas with his fate. She never wanted to remember the despair and loneliness she felt in Castle Oblivion.

The only thing she left was her name. Her name and nothing else.

Everything was leaving her mind. Just flying away leaving it like a blank canvas. She will no longer suffer the guilt and remorse for herself ever again.

Just forget; let everything fly away.

And that's what she did.

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**Karin: Done; so here's an alternate path of Kingdom Hearts II. What will happen now that Namine makes herself forget? Find out next chapter! Please leave a review on the way out. **

**See ya next time! **


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